English - The Funny Language

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?

Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on.

When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this blog, I end it

Aint this funny

Siddhuisms

Navjot Singh Sidhu is more famous for his exceptional "Jonty Rhodes" like fielding and batting with a big heart against any opponent. But he later had a greater fan following with his own Idioms named "Siddhuisms"... For all those who don't know much about this great Sardar, a few of Siddhuism for all u cricketing and non-cricketing fans


1. Statistics are like bikinis… what they reveal is suggestive, what they hide are essential!
2. Spit on your hands! Take the black flag! And start slitting throats!
3. Wickets are like wives… you never know which way they will turn!
4. He looks like a brooding hen over a China egg!
5. It is very difficult to kill a man who is hell bent on committing suicide!
6. He is as innocent as a freshly laid egg!
7. When you are dining with the demons, you’ve got to have a long spoon!
8. If ‘ifs and buts’ were ‘pots and pants’ there would be no tinkers!
9. The ball went so high it could have got an airhostess on its way down!
10. This team is like bicycles in a cycle stand… one falls and the entire row falls!
11. The scoreboard is running faster than an Indian Taximeter!
12. The batsman is like a three-wheeler. Sucks a lot of fuel, but cannot go beyond 30!
13. The wily fox is back… it is an ill omen when a fox licks the lambs!
14. A big outcry but no outcome!
15. All that comes from a cow is not milk!
16. Just because a rose smells sweet, you do not use it in the soup!
17. There is light at the end of the tunnel for India, but it's that of an incoming train which will run them over
19. Experience is like a comb that life gives you when you are bald.
20. This quote was made after Ganguly called Dravid for a run and midway sent him back and Dravid was run out in the third test against the West Indies at Barbados."Ganguly has thrown a drowning man both ends of the rope."
25. The Indians are going to beat the Kiwis! Let me tell you, my friend that the Kiwi is the only bird in the whole world, which does not have wings!
26. As uncomfortable as a bum on a porcupine.
27. The ball whizzes past like a bumble -bee and the Indians are in the sea.
28. The Indians are finding the gaps like a pin a haystack.
29. The pitch is as dead as a dodo.
30. Deep Dasgupta is as confused as a child is in a topless bar!
31. The way Indian wickets are falling reminds of the cycle stand at Rajendra Talkies in Patiala one falls and everything else falls!
32. Indian team without Sachin is like giving Kiss without a Squeeze.
33. You cannot make Omelets without breaking the eggs.
34. Deep Dasgupta is not a Wicket Keeper, he is a goalkeeper. He must be given a free transfer to Manchester United.
35. He will fight a rattlesnake and give it the first two bites too.
36. One, who doesn't throw the dice, can never expect to score a six.
37. This quote was made after Eddie Nichols, the third umpire; ruled Shivnarine Chanderpaul 'NOT OUT' in the second test at Port of Spain T&T "Eddie Nichols is a man who cannot find his own buttocks with his two hands."
38. Anybody can pilot a ship when the sea is calm.
39. Nobody travels on the road to success without a puncture or two.
40. You got to choose between tightening your belt or losing your pants.
41. The cat with gloves catches no mice.
42. Age has been perfect fire extinguisher for flaming youth.
43. You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg.
44. He is like a one-legged man in a bum kicking competition.
45. The third umpires should be changed as often as nappies and for the same reason.
46. Kumble's bowling at the moment is flat as a Dosa.

Know Thy Name

whats your last name?Name is a fence and within it you are nameless. ~Samuli Paronen

What's in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet.~William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

Sitting in office on a very lazy Friday morning, I got to realize how unfortunately racist some of us Indians are. At times, Office is like the family scene from an Indian movie. Vast Space, local language, coffee table with men talking loud - about Kids, work, family, news from Indian newspapers and websites, and the sweet smell of the Indian Curry and sambar. I decided to listen to some of them talk about stocks,employers,business et all. Sitting with my team in the cafeteria, listening to them talk,I couldn't help thinking,how racist all of us are (Sadly,so am i).

Indian 1: "That Gowda's son from Bangalore got an MS seat in this US university,I tell you its all about the money"

Indian 2: "But didn't he get an average score in that GRE entrance? My sister's daughter got a 1340"I

ndian 1: "Yeppa, that's good no..see that gowda's son got only 900 out of 1600"

Indian 2: "You know, It's all the money from his land i tell you ,His grandfather owns a quarter of the Kushalnagar near their Native place".

I was trying to make a mental calculation of all the property that my family would own....

Indian 1: "My boss - John asks for a lot of commitment to work but I am trying hard to get things done in my present assignment. But Murugan is lucky. His supervisor too is Indian and he is having a gala time "

Indian 2: "Shanmugam right? These south Indian people are so clever.They work less and ask for more holidays, they always say "Chennai ponam - En anna payankhe kaliyanum" (I have to go to Chennai - My brother's son is getting married)

Everyone laughs in unison. I wonder what are the reasons they give when they have to go to India and if anyone would believe them when their nephews and nieces get married in reality.

Indian 3: "Yes, yes, true ,it always better to take these biharis and north Indian people..They diligently work,and are satisfied with whatever they get".

Indian 1 responds : "Reddy is looking for an alliance for their son, MS in finance i think, stays in Houston,TX...expecting a Volkswagen and Apartment in dowry,you know him na.. they own a lot of land in Andhra and his Reddy's father is a MLA in the ruling party "

Well,its not surprising that some of us continue to call names reddys, gowds, iyers,iyengars and rationalize ourselves which is very unfortunate. This blog was neither meant to degrade or insult my countrymen or my country or hurt any feelings.Just an honest observation.:)

Ramdom Quotes from Strangers

Below are some facts I wish people hadn't told me about themselves or spoken. Wrote them down and finally put them together after 5 years of collecting these priceless quotes. Few come from friends, friends-of-friends, friends-of-friends-of-friends, collegues and others from overhearing what others talk in my office cafeteria. They are all real, though I wish some of them were not. My comments go in the bracket next to the sentence

1. I have learnt to eat noodles with a fork. (wonder how they ate before learning)
2. I was fat in middle school. The wake of that horror has yet to subside.
3. I keep forgetting that Barack Obama is our President. Bush is a living legend.
4. I have been pooped on by a monkey. (What if they had wings and could fly??)
5. I am addicted to sleeping at work. Sometimes I don't even notice I'm doing it. (Not surprised why the economy had slumped)
7. One of my collegues once said, "Just because I realize that Asian people are smarter and generally superior level of class does not mean I am inferior. Just that I'm racist."
8. I eat gummy bears by tearing them limb from limb and eating their heads last.
9. A friend in India said, "I can't grow hair on my arms"
10. Two of my best friends are under five feet tall and I have an intense fear of midgets.
11. I think yoga is incredibly spiritual. I know the Lord is with me in my downward dog.

12. I was born pigeon-toed.
13. A kid in a supermarket talking to his buddy says, "I was born with an extra kidney. I wish I could have sold it on the black market and made some money, but it was underdeveloped and did nothing but cause me to wet the bed until the third grade."
14. I like to tape my thumbs to my hands to see what it would be like to be a dinosaur.
15. A horse once fell over while I was riding it.
16. I don't believe in democracy.
17. Some in the Cafeteria said, 'My friends say that when they shave my back, I purr like a walrus"
18. I don't understand what people see in the Godfather trilogy but I love the Matrix Trilogy

Pursuit of Happiness starts in ME

ONE of the most precious gifts we can give ourselves and to each other is a sense of empowerment. A sense of power over yourself and immediate surroundings. We can give ourselves a beautiful world around us, to wake up rejuvenated each morning and feel on top of the world because you are in control of your day and whatever happens to you. There is a unique joy and celebration in that!
Real happiness can come only from within. No money can get us close to it. When you wake up each morning, consider if you really want to be doing what you are scheduled to do that day. If the answer is ‘no' more often than ‘yes', there is something obviously very wrong somewhere. You are not celebrating yourself or the gift of life enough.
And as the day starts, try asking yourself "are you at peace within?". Have you resolved the inherent conflict in all of us, the constant struggle between the baser and higher consciousness? Once you strike a balance within, it is easier to transfer that feeling of peace to your life as well.
When the joy of doing what you want to do suffuses your life, you will feel an extra bounce in your step and a keener power of observation, a deeper understanding of what's within and what surrounds you. It is then that you will question all that you have accepted blindly so far. You will question prevailing wisdom, bust old paradigms,challenge social conventions and assumptions. You will learn to believe in yourself and develop your own perspective on life. You will assert your own sovereignty.
Your life will be filled with love, bliss, light, inspiration and positivity. You will learn to do the unexpected, to think big, think lateral, think mosaic!
Let us together move towards higher levels of fearlessness and creativity. Let us look at life more for opportunities than constraints. Let us keep shedding limitations and keep raising the bar. Each one of us can be the CEO of his or her own life!

Random Thoughts

What makes a man a man? A friend of mine once wondered. Is it his origins? The way he comes to life? I don't think so. It's the choices he makes. Not how he starts things, but how he decides to end them.

Gone are the Days

Gone are the days........but not the memories. Gone are the days ,When the school reopened in June, And we settled in our new desks and benches with new friends. Gone are the days, When we queued up in book depot, And got our new text books, uniforms and notes. Gone are the days, When we wanted two Sundays and no Mondays, yet Managed to line up daily for the Monday morning prayers. Gone are the days, When we chased one another in the corridors in Intervals, And returned to the classrooms drenched in sweat after a game of football during the lunch break. Gone are the days, When we had lunch in classrooms, corridors, Playgrounds, under the trees and even in cycle sheds. Gone are the days, When a single P.T. period in the week's Time Table was awaited more eagerly than the monsoons. Gone are the days, Of fights but no conspiracies, Of Competitions but seldom..
Will we ever get these bygone days back in our busy lives