Below are some facts I wish people hadn't told me about themselves or spoken. Wrote them down and finally put them together after 5 years of collecting these priceless quotes. Few come from friends, friends-of-friends, friends-of-friends-of-friends, collegues and others from overhearing what others talk in my office cafeteria. They are all real, though I wish some of them were not. My comments go in the bracket next to the sentence
1. I have learnt to eat noodles with a fork. (wonder how they ate before learning)
2. I was fat in middle school. The wake of that horror has yet to subside.
3. I keep forgetting that Barack Obama is our President. Bush is a living legend.
4. I have been pooped on by a monkey. (What if they had wings and could fly??)
5. I am addicted to sleeping at work. Sometimes I don't even notice I'm doing it. (Not surprised why the economy had slumped)
7. One of my collegues once said, "Just because I realize that Asian people are smarter and generally superior level of class does not mean I am inferior. Just that I'm racist."
8. I eat gummy bears by tearing them limb from limb and eating their heads last.
9. A friend in India said, "I can't grow hair on my arms"
10. Two of my best friends are under five feet tall and I have an intense fear of midgets.
11. I think yoga is incredibly spiritual. I know the Lord is with me in my downward dog.
12. I was born pigeon-toed.
13. A kid in a supermarket talking to his buddy says, "I was born with an extra kidney. I wish I could have sold it on the black market and made some money, but it was underdeveloped and did nothing but cause me to wet the bed until the third grade."
14. I like to tape my thumbs to my hands to see what it would be like to be a dinosaur.
15. A horse once fell over while I was riding it.
16. I don't believe in democracy.
17. Some in the Cafeteria said, 'My friends say that when they shave my back, I purr like a walrus"
18. I don't understand what people see in the Godfather trilogy but I love the Matrix Trilogy
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